U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
why do cheetos always look like penises
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
