I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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