i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
