I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
