i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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