So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
