You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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