also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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