I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
