So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
