tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
