wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
