I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
