No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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