Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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