Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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