Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
