omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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