Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
