gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
