I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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