apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
