You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
