bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
