I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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