I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
