Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
