im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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