if only i could text you this smell
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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