Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
