READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
