I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
