so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
