dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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