Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
