dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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