Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
