I'm really into asian looking animals
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
