There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
