i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
