It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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