just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize