wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
