We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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