I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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