I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
