we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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