My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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