jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
