shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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