First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize