I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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