So drunk its hurt
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
