you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
