another moral hangover. fuck.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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