dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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