How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Holy sore nipples Batman
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize