she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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