i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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