Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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