Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize