Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
