You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
