Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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