how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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